How to Control Anger: 10 Proven Tips

Anger is a powerful emotion.

It can make you feel strong and powerful, or it can make you feel out of control and helpless.

When you don't learn how to deal with your anger in a healthy way, it can cause problems in your relationships, at work, and in other areas of your life.

In this blog post, we will discuss 10 tips for how to control anger healthily.

Tip 1: Recognize the signs of anger

Recognizing the signs of anger is the first step to controlling anger.

Everyone experiences anger differently, but there are some common physical and behavioral signs that can indicate that you're getting angry.

For example, you may start to feel tense, have a racing heart, or clench your fists. Your breathing might quicken, and you might begin to sweat.

You might also find yourself getting more aggressive, either verbally or physically. Or perhaps you start to withdraw from the situation and isolate yourself.

In the Complete Anger Management System, I call these signs the "Early Warning Signs of Anger".

Recognizing the "Early Warning Signs of Anger" is the first step to ensuring that your anger does not get out of control.

Tip 2: Be aware of your triggers

One of the best ways to control your anger is to be aware of your triggers.

What are the things that set you off?

Is it someone cutting you off in traffic? A coworker who constantly interrupts you? A word or a phrase that someone uses?

Once you know your triggers, you can start to put a plan in place to deal with them.

For example, if you get angry when someone cuts you off in traffic, you can tell yourself that it's not worth getting upset over and that the other driver is probably just having a bad day.

If you have a coworker who always interrupts you, you can try to schedule a time to talk to them outside of work hours.

Or, if a certain word or phrase sets you off, you can ask the person to please not use it around you.

It's essential to be aware of your triggers so that you can start to put a plan in place to deal with them.

By knowing your triggers, you can take steps to avoid them or defuse them before they lead to you getting angry.

Tip 3: Take time to calm down

One of the most important things you can do when you're angry is to take some time to calm down.

This doesn't mean that you should bottle up your feelings or try to push them away. Instead, it means giving yourself a chance to cool off so that you can respond to the situation more constructively.

There are a few different ways you can go about doing this.

For example, you may take some deep breaths, walk away from the situation for a few minutes, or even listen to calm music. The key is to find something that works for you and that you can do in the moment to help yourself calm down.

Taking a step back and giving yourself some time to calm down when you're feeling angry will make it much easier to handle difficult situations in a more positive way.

Tip 4: Use relaxation techniques

One way to help control your anger is to use relaxation techniques.

When you start to feel angry, you can do a few things to help calm yourself down.

First, try taking a few deep breaths. Inhale slowly and deeply through your nose, and then exhale slowly through your mouth.

Another relaxation technique is progressive muscle relaxation. This involves tensing and relaxing different muscle groups in your body, starting with your toes and working up to your head.

You can also try visualizing a peaceful scene, such as a quiet beach or a sun-dappled forest.

You can help prevent your anger from reaching the boiling point by taking a few minutes to relax.

Tip 5: Set boundaries

It's important to set boundaries with the people in your life.

For example, if someone regularly says or does things that anger you, let them know that behaviour is unacceptable. Set consequences for crossing the line, such as ending the conversation or walking away.

It's also important to set boundaries with yourself. Don't put yourself in situations that are likely to make you angry.

For example, if you know that specific topics of conversation always lead to an argument with your spouse, avoid those topics. And if you can't avoid them, agree ahead of time to take a break if the conversation starts to get heated.

Finally, don't be afraid to say "No" when you're asked to do something you don't want to do. Don't let others take advantage of you or put you in a position where you're likely to get angry.

Remember, it's OK to put yourself first sometimes.

Tip 6: Practice forgiveness

It's normal to feel angry after someone has hurt you, but holding onto that anger can lead to resentment, bitterness, and even hatred.

If you want to let go of your anger, practice forgiveness.

Forgiveness doesn't mean that you forget what happened or that you excuse the other person's behaviour; it simply means that you release your anger and choose to move on.

The next time someone does something that angers you, try to forgive them.

It may not be easy, but it will help you let go of your anger and live a happier, healthier life.

Tip 7: Keep a sense of perspective

It's easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment and forget what's important.

When you're angry, take a step back and ask yourself whether the situation is worth getting worked up about. Chances are, it's not.

Keeping a sense of perspective can help you to see the situation for what it is and prevent you from overreacting.

This doesn't mean you should bottle up your feelings or suppress your anger - instead, try to view the situation objectively and see if there's anything you can do to diffuse it.

You may be surprised at how much better you feel once you've taken a step back and regained some perspective.

Tip 8: Change Your Thinking

When it comes to controlling anger, how you think can make all the difference.

All too often, we get caught up in negative thinking patterns that only serve to fuel our anger.

If you get angry regularly, it may be time to take a closer look at your thought patterns.

Here are some tips for changing your thinking and keeping your cool:

-Try to see things from the other person's perspective. This can be difficult, but it's important to understand where the other person is coming from.

-Focus on the positive. Instead of dwelling on what made you angry, try to focus on the good things in your life. This will help you to see the situation in a more positive light.

-Let go of grudges. Holding onto anger and resentment will only make you feel worse in the long run. It's important to let go of these negative feelings and move on.

-Practice gratitude. Being grateful for what you have can help you to put your anger into perspective. When you're feeling thankful, it's harder to stay angry.

By changing your thinking, you can change the way you feel. And this will make it much easier to control your anger.

Tip 9: Communicate assertively, not aggressively

One of the most effective ways to control anger is communicating assertively, not aggressively.

When you communicate assertively, you are clear, direct, and firm without being hostile or disrespectful. 

This type of communication allows you to state your needs and feelings without putting the other person on the defensive. It can also help to prevent misunderstandings and disagreements from escalating into conflict.

On the other hand, communicating aggressively generally makes the situation worse.

When you communicate aggressively, you are likely to come across as hostile and pushy, which will only make the other person more defensive. If you want to effectively control your anger, it is important to learn how to communicate assertively.

Modules 6 and 7 of the Complete Anger Management System will teach you how to communicate assertively and how to resolve conflict effectively.

Tip 10: Get professional help

If you've tried all of the above tips and you're still struggling to control your anger, it may be time to seek professional help.

There are many options available to learn how to control your anger, including anger management classes, therapy, and self-help books.

If you're unsure where to start, a simple step is to book a FREE 20-minute phone consultation with me. In this consultation, we will discuss your issues with anger and how to best overcome it.

If you're ready to take this important step, click here to book your free consultation now.

Conclusion

Learning how to control anger in a healthy way can be life-changing.

When you take the time to learn about and implement the tips we have discussed, you will find that you can handle your anger more positively and productively.

You will feel better about yourself, and you will be able to have healthier relationships with others.

If you would like more help to control your anger, either:

a) Click here to book a FREE 20-minute phone consultation with me, or

b) Click here to enrol in the Complete Anger Management System. This powerful online course will help you control your anger, master your emotions and create a calmer and more loving relationship in just 21 days or less.