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Anger Management Courses in Wellington: The Complete Guide (2022 Version)

John knew he had gone too far this time.

It wasn't what he said, although he knew that he said some horrible things. It wasn't even what he did, although he had never shoved his wife Tania that hard before. 

It was simply the look in Tania's eyes as he was losing it. He hadn't seen fear in her eyes in that way before. And even though she was scared-the fear in her eyes scared John perhaps more. This wasn't the man he wanted to be. This wasn't the husband he wanted to be. And this wasn't the father he wanted to be.

But where can John turn to for help?

In this article I provide a list of all the anger management options for John, a Wellington resident. This includes a list of all the anger management courses in Wellington, their location, their cost and the services each agency provides. I also discuss other options, such as online options, for John to learn how to control his anger.

If you want to learn how to control your anger, what attending an anger management course will involve and what the best option for you is to learn how to control your anger, read on....

(Note: This article applies equally to men and women, and includes anger management courses in Wellington for women).

What is an Anger Management Course?

An anger management courses is any programme that helps people learn how to control their anger (and stay calm in any situation). Although people have experienced anger issues since probably the start of the human race, it is only in the last 30 or 40 years that formal anger management classes have been conducted. The Oxford English Dictionary for example, states that the first reference to the term anger management came in 1975, connected with the work of American psychologist Raymond Novaco.

These days anger management courses are common in Wellington (and throughout the world). Online anger management courses are also available-and for many people these can be a better option. Typically face-to-face anger management courses are run either in groups of around 14-18 people, or individually. These are discussed in more detail below.

How Do I Know if I Need an Anger Management Course?

There are many signs that your anger is getting out of control. I have written a blog on my Anger Change website that lists 5 of the most common signs that your anger is getting out of control.

Other common signs that you may need an anger management course include:

  • having frequent arguments with your partner
  • shouting, swearing at or belittling your partner
  • having episoides of road rage, including shouting at, swearing at or chasing other drivers
  • other people telling you you have an anger issue or need to do an anger management programme
  • your children avoiding you or being scared of you when you are angry
  • spending hours or even days after arguments without talking to your partner

There are also many different tests you can take to see if anger is an issue for you. These include this short anger management test on the Psychology Today website, the slightly more detailed anger management test based on the Novaco Anger Scale and the "Are You Abusive or Violent?" quiz on my AngerChange website.

If you score highly on either of the above tests it is likely that will benefit from an anger management programme.

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What Sort Of Anger Management Course Should I Do?

There are two main types of anger management programmes. These are:

  • Face-to-face anger management programmes, or
  • Online anger management programmes

Both types of programmes have their pros and cons. These include:

Face-To-Face Anger Management Courses


  • Contact with other men or women who are struggling with issues of anger
  • No need to be self-motivated
  • Meets requirements for Court-directed men and women


  • Time consuming
  • Can involve considerable travel time
  • Programmes are usually long (usually up to 20 weeks in duration)
  • Skill of facilitators can vary

Online Anger Management Courses


  • Learn whenever (or wherever) you want
  • Courses are quicker (learn to control your anger in 2-3 weeks)
  • Learn at your own pace
  • Cost (can be cheaper than face-to-face programmes)


  • Requires self-motivation
  • Requires computer access

After running both face-to-face and online anger management programmes for almost 30 years, I find that many people learn more quickly and effectively using an online course (especially when that course includes options of group or individual coaching, as mine do).

If you would like to find out more about online anger management programmes, click here to book a FREE 20 minute phone consultation with myself.

Note: Exceptions apply for men and women who have been Court-directed to attend an anger management programme. Usually this is because they are facing charges, such as Male Assault Female or Common Assault. If you are in this category please check with your lawyer as to the most suitable anger management programme for you.

Where Do I Find A Face-To-Face Anger Management Courses in Wellington?

If you would like to (or are required to) attend a face-to-face anger management programme in Wellington, I recommend the following organizations.

Porirua: Porirua Living Without Violence


Porirua Living Without Violence is based in Porirua, Wellington. They are a non-profit organisation whose main purpose is to enable the Porirua community to live violence free by providing programmes that educate, support and empower. Their services include:

Behaviour Change Programmes for Men
Behaviour Change Programmes for Women
Support Programmes for Women affected by Abuse and Violence
Programmes for Children Aged 5-12 Affected by Violence

Porirua Living Without Violence conducts both group and individual anger management programmes.

To find out more visit their
website or phone 04 237 6009.

Kapiti: Kapiti Living Without Violence

Kapiti Living Without Violence is based in Kapiti, Wellington. They provide individual and group violence prevention programmes for men, women and youth on the Kapiti Coast. Their services include:

Abuse and Violence Programmes for Men
Programmes for Women to Help Understand and Manage Anger
Youth Programmes

Kapiti Living Without Violence conducts both group and individual anger management programmes.

To find out more visit their
website or phone 04 298 1404.

What Happens in a Group Anger Management Programme?

 Group anger management programmes usually include a mix of input from class members and instruction from the facilitators. The topics covered in these programmes vary depending on the organisation that is running then, but often include topics such as:

  • understanding anger, abuse and violence
  • anger management techniques
  • identifying thoughts and feelings that may precede anger, abuse and violence
  • communication skills, including listening, speaking and negotiation skills
  • understanding the effect of abuse and violence on others
  • understanding verbal, emotional, psychological, physical and sexual abuse
  • understanding the causes of anger, including the influence of our childhood and upbringing.

What Happens in an Individual Anger Management Programme?

Individual anger management programmes combine a mix of counselling and programme content. The content of individual programmes is usually similar to that of group programmes. However in individual programmes the content of the programme can be tailored to the individual needs of the person seeking anger management.

Do Anger Management Courses Work?

In my experience, after working with over 7,500 men and women in the last 28 years, the answer to this question in "Yes"!

For example, many men and women that I have seen have learned how to control their anger and stay calm in any situation, sometimes in as little as 2-3 weeks. And while it can take a little time to cement the changes that an anger management programme makes, the basic skills and strategies to control your anger are usually easy to learn and apply.

In general, research supports this conclusion. Most research studies indicate that anger management programmes are effective in promoting change in men (or women) who undertake such programmes.

While the general outcome of anger management programmes is positive, some men or women use anger management programmes to disguise tactics of violence, abuse and control. In my experience this only occurs in the minority of men and women. Often these are people who are mandated to attend anger management programmes and may not have intrinsic motivation to change.

Overall research generally suggests that anger management programmes provide an opportunity for men and women to learn respectful and non-abusive ways of being in relationship with their partners and children.

anger quote

Are Anger Management Courses Different for Men and Women?

The content of anger management courses for men and women is usually mostly the same. Both men and women will be very likely to learn basic anger management tools and techniques. They are also likely to understand some deeper causes of anger, including underlying thoughts and beliefs.

While most of this content will be the same for men and women, there will also be some differences. These differences are largely due to the different socialisation of men and women. In addition, women who experience anger issues themselves have often been victims of abusive relationships. Most women’s anger management courses thus include sections on recovering from abusive relationships.

What are the Best Books on Anger Management?

It is surprising difficult to find good books on anger management, especially those written from a New Zealand perspective. Largely because of this, I am in the process of writing a book myself on simple and effective tips for managing anger. If you would like more details on this, please contact me.

In the meantime the following books provide a good introduction to anger management and can be powerful in helping people change their lives.


Stop Hurting the Woman You Love (by Donaldson, Flood and Eldridge)

This is a useful book aimed at helping men understand the reasons why they may have acted in abusive or violent ways. This understanding can then open the gateway to change.


Beyond Anger: A Guide for Men (by Harbin)

Beyond Anger: A Guide for Men is a great book for helping men understand if they have an anger management issues and if so, what to do about it. Highly recommended!

What is the First Step in Getting Help for Anger Management?

The first step in getting help for anger management is to choose whether you want to attend a face-to-face or online anger management programme.

Once you have made this choice then contact the person running the programme and enrol! If you choose to do an online anger management programme I offer a FREE 20 minute phone consultation to discuss this with you.

If you would like to attend a face-to-face anger management programme, contact any of the organizations listed above. I am also happy to advise on any issues around anger management. Please use the contact button below to contact me with any questions you have on this topic.

Learning to control your anger is a brave and powerful step. I wish you the best of luck!

Are You Sick And Tired Of Losing Your Temper At The People You Love The Most?

Click the button below to discover the simplest, fastest and most effective way to control your anger, right now!

Alastair Duhs is a highly experienced anger management counsellor who has been running anger management courses for over 25 years. For any questions or enquiries please contact him using the button below.